My Wife and I Lied About Our Son’s Death. Can I Come Clean if She Won’t?

I decided we must tell the truth.

View in browser|nytimes.com Continue reading the main story July 9, 2022 Illustration by Tomi Um The Ethicist My Wife and I Lied About Our Son's Death. Can I Come Clean if She Won't? The magazine's Ethicist columnist on revealing a family secret, complaining about a tour guide and more. By Kwame Anthony Appiah A few years ago, my son died from an accidental overdose when he took a fentanyl-laced pill. When we got the autopsy report, his mother (we are divorced) wanted to keep the cause of his death a secret. I was reluctant, but in the throes of grief did not make a stand for the truth. We lied and said his death was due to a bad heart. Recently, I read an article about the plague of fentanyl overdoses, and it broke my heart (again); I decided we must tell the truth. My son's sister agrees. But his mother and stepfather prefer to maintain the lie. Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT I believe we are morally obligated to speak out, even if belatedly, because it may save another family from tragedy. I am ashamed it has taken this long. Can I ethically go public with the real cause of my son's death when his mother and stepfather are against it? Read the Ethicist's response here. Subscribe Today We hope you've enjoyed this newsletter, which is made possible through subscriber support. Subscribe to The New York Times with this special offer. Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT THIS WEEK'S MAGAZINE Concept by Pablo Delcan. Photo Illustration by Bobby Doherty for The New York Times. The Quest by Circadian Medicine to Make the Most of Our Body Clocks Researchers are trying to figure out the right hour of the day to do everything. Can their studies sync us up with better health? By Kim Tingley Illustration by Vartika Sharma His PTSD, and My Struggle to Live With It After my partner was brutally beaten on the street, I became one of the many thousands of Americans caring for someone with post-traumatic stress disorder — and our relationship changed forever. By Virginia Eubanks Sebastian Nevols for The New York Times How One Restaurateur Transformed America's Energy Industry Charif Souki's longshot bet on liquid natural gas, or L.N.G., paid off handsomely — and turned the United States into a leading fossil-fuel exporter. By Jake Bittle Dan Winters for The New York Times Is the Future of American Opera Unfolding in Detroit? Yuval Sharon's wildly innovative stagings, already celebrated in Berlin and Los Angeles, reach new heights in Michigan. By Mark Binelli Mamadi Doumbouya for The New York Times Talk Krista Tippett Wants You to See All the Hidden Signs of Hope "I see the damage and the pain," says the longtime host of "On Being." "I also see people tending to that." By David Marchese MORE FROM THE MAGAZINE Chris Simpson for The New York Times. Food stylist: Maggie Ruggiero. Prop stylist: Sophia Pappas. A Great Biscuit Is a Miracle of Care Savory with kimchi and Cheddar, these biscuits taste like an act of generosity. By Bryan Washington Illustration by Franco Zacharzewski Letter of Recommendation How Talking to the Dead Dislodged Some of My Sorrow Voice mail helps a daughter cope with her mother's death. By Maggie Jones Photo illustration by Mark Weaver Screenland The Rise of the Professional-Athlete Podcast Does getting game analyses straight from the source take away some of the magic? By Jeremy Gordon Illustration by Louise Zergaeng Pomeroy Judge John Hodgman on the Crass Bumper Sticker A husband and wife disagree about how to decorate the car. By John Hodgman Illustration by R. O. Blechman Poem: Sister Song A longing for and memory of a murdered brother By Casandra López and Victoria Chang Illustration by Radio Tip How to Ask a Stranger For Help It might feel socially risky, but ask anyway. Keep your request simple and direct. By Malia Wollan Stay in touch: Follow us on Twitter (@NYTmag) or check us out on Instagram. Appreciated this email? Forward it to a friend and help us grow. Loved a story? Hated it? Write us a letter at magazine@nytimes.com. Did a friend forward this to you? Sign up here to get the magazine newsletter. Listen to narrated versions of our articles every week. Download Audm for iPhone or Android. Continue reading the main story Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for The New York Times Magazine from The New York Times. To stop receiving these emails, unsubscribe or manage your email preferences. Subscribe to The TimesGet The New York Times app Connect with us on: Change Your EmailPrivacy PolicyContact UsCalifornia Notices The New York Times Company. 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018