Love Letter: Housework and a Hereditary Disease

While losing his vision, a man finds new meaning in simple, domestic chores.

View in browser|nytimes.com Continue reading the main story September 16, 2022 By Miya Lee "Contrary to self-help memes, disease is not a gift. Gifts are free; the afflicted pay for their ailments with painful treatments, mood swings and micro-humiliations. That said, disease does provide the gift of insight." In this week's Modern Love essay, "Please Let Me Do More Laundry and Vacuuming!" Sam Harper explains how vision loss caused by a hereditary disease helped him see marriage — and its division of labor — in a new light. MODERN LOVE "When our nest emptied in 2012, the burden of domestic management got lighter but remained a marital flash point." Brian Rea Please Let Me Do More Laundry and Vacuuming! For decades, I avoided domestic tasks. My failing vision has made me cherish them. By Sam Harper MORE MODERN LOVE "'That's a little over the top,' I said. 'No, that's love,' he replied." Brian Rea Tiny Love Stories: 'Irritated by the Drama of Her Effort' Modern Love in miniature, featuring reader-submitted stories of no more than 100 words. Brian Rea Tiny Love Stories Tell Us Your Love Story. Just Keep It Really Short. We're looking for all the emotion that's fit to print — in no more than 100 words. By Daniel Jones and Miya Lee Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT LOVE AND MARRIAGE "I was afraid of girls and had been hurt enough." Michael Ciaglo for The New York Times Vows After a Fire, Rebuilding What Matters Months before their wedding, Emily Thompson and Stefan Kienle lost most of their possessions in the Marshall fire that destroyed their home and many others in Louisville, Colo. By Amanda McCracken Williams Creative Co. Mini-Vows Dog Lovers Become Almost Instant Companions Weeks after Kachet Jackson-Henderson and Brandon Bell met on Hinge, where the profiles of both featured photos of their dogs, she ended up in the hospital and he rushed to her side. By Judy Mandell Kelly Kollar Photography Mini-Vows A Relationship With Biblical Origins Cecelia Thornton-Alson and Terence Lee met at a wedding, where they read from the 'Song of Songs,' and soon began a bicoastal relationship. By Rosalie R. Radomsky Vivian Chin photography MINI-VOWS Without Knowing It, Opening the Door to Romance Jobina Fortson and Bradley Evans met when he knocked on her dorm-room door at Howard University looking to use her printer. Eleven years later, they married. By Louise Rafkin ASK THE EXPERTS "It isn't respectful to treat people as if they can't respond to reasonable suggestions." Illustration by Tomi Um The Ethicist My Roommate Is Neglecting His Dog. What Should I Do? The magazine's Ethicist on speaking up for a member of the household — when it's a pet. By Kwame Anthony Appiah Miguel Porlan Why Won't My Husband Change His Will to Protect Our Baby and Me? A reader wonders how to negotiate the sensitive subject of her husband's outdated will, which she worries could leave her and her child without a place to live. By Philip Galanes LOVE IN THE NEWS "Courage, vulnerability and promise compressed into an instant." The Faces That Look Back at Us When We Come Out, Again and Again On television, for over 50 years, queer characters have confronted cruel, cringy, even heartwarming reactions. By Maya Salam Debora Szpilman Field Notes Decoding the Dress Code: What to Wear to a Wedding Now From "desert chic" to "beach formal," many couples are selecting distinctive themes for their weddings and are asking their guests to look the part. By Rachel Simon Marco Arguello for The New York Times The Wedding Photographer Favored by High Society and Fashion Royalty At rarefied weddings, including those of British Vogue's top editor, Princess Diana's niece and Paris Hilton, German Larkin has become a fixture. By Katie Kiefner Roger Kisby for The New York Times Wedding Album What Did You Wear to That Wedding? Were you invited to a wedding with a nontraditional dress code (think: desert chic or coastal glam)? We want to see what you wore. By Emma Grillo Continue reading the main story ADVERTISMENT We want to hear your stories. Here's how to submit a Modern Love essay or an Unhitched column. Don't feel like writing more than two tweets, an Instagram caption or a Facebook post? Consider submitting to Tiny Love Stories, which are no more than 100 words. Continue reading the main story Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for Love Letter from The New York Times. To stop receiving these emails, unsubscribe or manage your email preferences. Subscribe to The TimesGet The New York Times app Connect with us on: Change Your EmailPrivacy PolicyContact UsCalifornia Notices The New York Times Company. 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018