Love Letter: What’s Your Real Name?

A fake name is a boundary that some clients have no problem pushing, a former sex worker writes.

View in browser|nytimes.com Continue reading the main story January 27, 2023 By Miya Lee When Chris Belcher worked as a professional dominatrix known as Mistress Natalie, clients would frequently ask her, "What's your real name?" "The clients who asked this question of me were usually the type who had tricked themselves into believing that we had a personal relationship — a romantic one, or a sexual one they wouldn't have to pay for had we met under different circumstances," Ms. Belcher writes in this week's Modern Love essay. MODERN LOVE "I know you contain multitudes" is what they mean, "and I have the right to see." Brian Rea MODERN LOVE Don't Call Me by My Real Name As a sex worker, I had to set boundaries with clients that I sometimes couldn't abide by myself. By Chris Belcher MORE MODERN LOVE Read the latest batch of Tiny Love Stories or submit one yourself! Brian Rea MODERN LOVE Tiny Love Stories: 'The Cause of My Misery' Modern Love in miniature, featuring reader-submitted stories of no more than 100 words. Brian Rea TINY LOVE STORIES Tell Us Your Love Story. Just Keep It Really Short. We're looking for all the emotion that's fit to print — in no more than 100 words. By Daniel Jones and Miya Lee Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT LOVE AND MARRIAGE "She literally pushed me into the elevator," he said. "My legs were so stiff they wouldn't bend." Lanna Apisukh for The New York Times VOWS On the Fifth Try, a First Date to Remember Rachel Honig had been on hundreds of dates. Grad Conn could barely muster the courage to go on one. But after canceling four times, the fifth time was a charm. By Tammy La Gorce Forever Photography MINI-VOWS A Networking Event That Sparked a Romantic Partnership Michael Landsberger was immediately drawn to Alyssa Petersel after meeting her at a small business function. Trouble was, he was there on a first date with a woman he had met online. By Tammy La Gorce Virginie Carolina Photography MINI-VOWS Like 'Dating for Three Years' on Their First In-Person Meeting Alexander Lass was forced to spend his first get-together with Victoria Senter working until midnight in her apartment. A few days later he took her out to dinner for a proper date. By Sadiba Hasan Calvin Gavion Photography MINI-VOWS With Their Wedding, a Place of Pain Becomes a Site of Love Courtney Archie impressed Ashleigh Lewis with her southern hospitality. A few years later, they chose to get married in New Orleans to honor Ms. Archie's ancestors. By Alix Wall ASK THE EXPERTS "The trouble with generosity involving family members is that it typically lacks the clarity of a contract." Illustration by Tomi Um THE ETHICIST We Gave Our Relatives a House. Can We Make Them Pay for the Upkeep? The magazine's Ethicist columnist on the continued obligations we have while financially supporting our family members. By Kwame Anthony Appiah Miguel Porlan SOCIAL Q'S Why Is My Stepson Excluding Us From His Wedding Plans? A reader is hurt by her stepson's efforts to keep her away from his fiancée's family, including a future in-law who dismissed her as "not blood." By Philip Galanes LOVE IN THE NEWS "Born without the hand that traditionally wears a wedding ring, Sara Hughes never dreamed of a diamond." Hannah Millard A Bride's Prosthesis Made Not to Blend In, but to Shine While some brides obsess over their dress, or shoes, or earrings — Sara Hughes wanted "a really cool arm." By Paulette Perhach Mondo Mondo SHOP MONSTER Heart Accessories, Love Them or Hate Them Either way, you can't escape them. By Marisa Meltzer Scott Rossi for The New York Times THE HUNT Three Friends Pooled Their Finances and Bought a Queens House Together. Which One Did They Choose? Unable to afford the homes they wanted on their own, a couple and their friend combined resources and bought a multifamily house. Here's what they found in western Queens. By Debra Kamin A24, via Associated Press 'Close' Review: This Boy's Life Friendship and tragedy go hand in hand in Lukas Dhont's delicate, Oscar-nominated drama. By A.O. Scott Morgan Lieberman for The New York Times When Students Change Gender Identity, and Parents Don't Know Educators are facing wrenching new tensions over whether they should tell parents when students socially transition at school. By Katie J. M. Baker Michela Buttignol ROMANCE Small-Town Affairs These romance novels brim with coziness and cupcake bakeries. By Olivia Waite Continue reading the main story ADVERTISMENT We want to hear your stories. Here's how to submit a Modern Love essay or an Unhitched column. Don't feel like writing more than two tweets, an Instagram caption or a Facebook post? Consider submitting to Tiny Love Stories, which are no more than 100 words. Continue reading the main story Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for Love Letter from The New York Times. To stop receiving Love Letter, unsubscribe. To opt out of other promotional emails from The Times, manage your email preferences. Subscribe to The TimesGet The New York Times app Connect with us on: Change Your EmailPrivacy PolicyContact UsCalifornia Notices The New York Times Company. 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018