Love Letter: A Decade-Long Negotiation

He wanted children; she didn't. How could they move forward?

View in browser|nytimes.com Continue reading the main story February 24, 2023 By Miya Lee After growing up with a tumultuous family life, Rachel Heng decided that she did not want children. However, her husband desperately wanted to become a father. Ms. Heng writes about how she and her husband negotiated this impasse in this week's Modern Love essay, "How Could I Deny Him Fatherhood?" MODERN LOVE "At 20, I hadn't given much thought to children except to know that I didn't want them, not actively, as some do." Brian Rea MODERN LOVE How Could I Deny Him Fatherhood? He wanted children. I didn't. What happened next was completely unexpected. By Rachel Heng MORE MODERN LOVE Read the latest batch of Tiny Love Stories or listen to the newest Modern love podcast episode. Brian Rea MODERN LOVE Tiny Love Stories: 'This Man Who Shattered My Life' Modern Love in miniature, featuring reader-submitted stories of no more than 100 words. Brian Rea Questions I Can't Ask My Father It pained her to see how Alzheimer's was stealing her father's memories. As he drifted further away, she struggled to connect with him — until she found his old journals. By Anna Martin, Julia Botero, Christina Djossa, Elyssa Dudley, Hans Buetow, Sara Sarasohn, Jen Poyant, Sophia Lanman, Elisheba Ittoop, Marion Lozano, Sonia Herrero and Pat McCusker Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT LOVE AND MARRIAGE "The couple wanted their wedding to provide hope that the island would come back — and that older singles can still find love." Milissa Sprecher/Outlier Brands VOWS Among the Ruins of a Hurricane, Love Thrives When they fell in love on a Florida island, Beth Sharer and Jay Goad couldn't imagine that months later it would be devastated by Hurricane Ian, throwing their wedding plans into the winds. By Shannon Sims Nico Leone, Studio León MINI-VOWS Home is Where Their Hearts (and Careers) Are Alison Zhuk and Jay Parker first met during a real estate transaction. Years later, the housing market reunited them. By Tammy La Gorce Jen Sosa MINI-VOWS He Even Recommended a Dentist When Cat Lukaszewski and Steven Whalen met in Los Angeles, she was new to the city and he was lost in his hometown. Then they found each other. By Vivian Ewing Mandi Shepard, Only1Shot Photography MINI-VOWS Getting a Charge Out of a Drone Instructor Austin Brown taught Chelsea Wilson how to fly a drone while she was charging her phone. Love took flight later. By Rosalie R. Radomsky ASK THE EXPERTS "I am pretty sure this isn't healthy for me, but I can't get past my hurt or my intense desire to make her suffer." Miguel Porlan SOCIAL Q'S Can I Confront the Woman Who Had an Affair With My Husband? Years after coming to grips with her husband's infidelity, a reader still feels an urge to make his lover suffer. By Philip Galanes Illustration by Tomi Um THE ETHICIST I Think My Friend Could Be Autistic. Do I Tell Her? The magazine's Ethicist columnist on broaching a difficult topic with a loved one. By Kwame Anthony Appiah Margeaux Walter for The New York Times Do I Have to Smell My Co-Worker? Either way, saying something about a colleague's overwhelming perfume, or enduring it, is a delicate situation. By Roxane Gay Continue reading the main story ADVERTISMENT LOVE IN THE NEWS "Everyone's going to be heartbroken and it's going to be cathartic." Ali Cherkis for The New York Times THIRD WHEEL An Art Show That Asks, 'Why Is Everyone Breaking Up Right Now?' The one-night-only event provided a salve for over 150 lonely hearts in Brooklyn. By Gina Cherelus Ohni Lisle The Best Way to Comfort Someone When They're Sad A limited yet growing body of research suggests that one of the most powerful ways to support someone is also the simplest: Start a conversation. By Melinda Wenner Moyer Marilyne Moja Mwangi for The New York Times Q. AND A. Yes, Your Something Borrowed Can Be the Wedding Dress Itself Laine London, a Black-owned rental company, offers affordable, size-inclusive options for brides who want a perfectly tailored fit. By Sadiba Hasan Irene Servillo The Unsung Joy of Falling in Big, Deep Platonic Love There is magic in the moment when you realize you've found a friend like no other. What if we celebrated that kind of connection more? By Catherine Pearson We want to hear your stories. Here's how to submit a Modern Love essay or an Unhitched column. Don't feel like writing more than two tweets, an Instagram caption or a Facebook post? Consider submitting to Tiny Love Stories, which are no more than 100 words. Continue reading the main story Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for Love Letter from The New York Times. 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